need to do this
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 38
need to do this
Hello all, i am feeling very delicate at the moment, literally spent the last 4 weeks admitting that I have a problem, but the going 3-4 days dry and then get wasted. If I do not quit drinking I am going to lose everything. My partner is about to give up on me, and seeing her crying this morning because I cant control my drinking is a sobering thought. I feel totally and utterly ashamed at the moment. Looks like I will be here for the long haul.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Originally Posted by Pieman 
Why do I feel so angry with myself?
Looking forward to seeing you here.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
Pieman, anger toward yourself is quite common in early recovery. I kept going over the 'what ifs' and blaming myself for starting to drink and for not stopping sooner. If you feel anger, use it as a catalyst to move forward with your recovery, and as much as you want to do this for your partner. ultimately you must do it for yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 38
Thanks everyone, my partner came home before going back out to work (in a bar) and I feel like she is worn out with me, almost like she thinks that I am not going to stay sober, its like we have been here so many times before. I will do this, even though i feel like a total waste of space at the moment.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 35
Pieman, I drank daily for the past 8-10 years, only at night but had an ahaaaa! moment last weekend. I visualized what my liver looked like, watched alcohol documentaries, read forums, youtube etc and it scared the poop out of me, I just said I gotta stop.....I'm almost at the 36 hour mark and feel good, be stubborn! get mad! stop now!
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Pieman, it was helpful to realize my past 20 year choices were not the best but to realize everything moving forward could be different. What a difference it makes to wake up in the morning, I'll focus just on tomorrow, not puking in the toilet, or wondering what I did the night before. It also helps me to focus on liver health, read about it, create healthy drinks.......
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Mklove
Pieman, it was helpful to realize my past 20 year choices were not the best but to realize everything moving forward could be different. What a difference it makes to wake up in the morning, I'll focus just on tomorrow, not puking in the toilet, or wondering what I did the night before. It also helps me to focus on liver health, read about it, create healthy drinks.......
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