Good to meet you, Jezzie. It helps to talk things over here. We all understand what you're going through.
Like Dharma, I was very emotional in the early months too. At first I felt resentful - like I was missing out on something. Then I began to love the feeling of freedom & improved health. It's hard to let go of something that's been part of our lives - even though we know it's harming us. You'll go through many phases as you heal. Happy you are here.