My latest mess
I've been at my worst drinking the past year. I've had a month here, two weeks there of sobriety, but I've also had some of my worst benders yet.
So 2 weeks ago I'm hung over as hell at my job bartending. I have a couple drinks at work to take the edge off, which led to too many. My boss sends me home because I'm drunk. I was scheduled off the two days after that anyway so I go on a full blown bender, drinking all day from morning until night. Wednesday my boss fires me. I have a moment of clarity and call my family crying, saying I need help. I was looking for an inpatient program. Since my insurance sucks, we decide I should enter the salvation army adult rehab program, since it's free. I get my affairs in order and on Monday I went.
Things got worse there. First of all, I take klonopin for anxiety (not good I know, but I never took more than I needed) and I can't bring that in. My doctor gives me vistaril to help with the withdrawals. In the program I was stolen from, threatened, there were no classes on addiction (only bible classes), and when I complained of withdrawals from klonopin I was told to pray. It was terrifying so I left. My family was disappointed. Today I looked for new jobs (that are not bartending or near booze), went back to aa, and am seeing my doctor about Antabuse.
Terrible few weeks, but I am 9 days sober and do have a plan to stay this way. I believe things will only get better from here. I'm actually going to work the program this time.