Good to see you P
I may have said this before but I'll say it again.
I eventually accepted I could drink, or be the person I wanted to be. But not both.
I know you're a guy big on honour and duty P. So am I.
I had to accept I was not living up to the high principles I wanted to while I was drinking.
I'm still not who I want to be sober, but I'm a heck of a lot closer - and I can look myself in the face in the mirror and sleep ok at night knowing that.
D