Slick, don't be so hard on yourself! Some say it takes a year before a new employee is not a liability and to have a positive impact on bottom line.
Also, I recommend getting a social life, stat! If you don't it will be even easier for you to put unrealistic and demanding expectations on this woman. I'm single and in my upper 30s, so I understand how many folks are not available if they have kids/marriage, but that just means you gotta branch out more. We may not be the majority, but other singles ARE out there.....join a club or just go to AA (I've met many friends there!)