Hi Pieman. It is good that you are here. When I look back on my own path it seems that the actions I took today were the ones that kept me sober tomorrow.
I understand your fears about AA, and I wouldn't particularly push you in that direction. When I intially found myself in your position, the first thing I tried was to just stop. With the memory of the last event so fresh you would think that would be enough of a motivator, but it wasn't. For the most part I was at it again within 24 hours.
Then the courts got involved and I took some counselling. I was pretty open to this. The first suggestion I tried was.... controlled drinking. It was the only option on the list that allowed drinking. I failed at the first attempt. No control.
The next option was treatment. A 10 week course in which I felt I learnt enough about alcholism and myself, that I should be ok. I was, if you consider three months of miserable fear filled sobriety o.k.
After that came a year of alcoholic misery, at the end of which I was willing to take another look at AA. Two of my treatment centre group had already done that and they are still sober today. I was the only one out of the remaining eight to get the opportunity to take another look. The other seven were already dead.
This is a serious progressive illness that kills people. Yet each of us must travel our own path. I think the advise to get your own plan is extremely good. You may get a virutal program here and have virtual friends from all around the world with whom you can share your secrets without anyone really knowing the truth, but you and your alcoholism are not virtual, you are real and you know the truth.