As someone who has done abhorrent things while blacked out, I've done a lot of thinking about this topic.
1. If you drink again, it will happen again. It may be worse than this time.
I've done things that made me shudder with fear, embarrassment, and regret the next day. I swore I would never do that again. It could be a week later, a month later, or a year later, but I always humiliated myself again and hurt others. The most bizarre blackout incident I had I became physically aggressive with someone. I have never been physically aggressive while sober. Not even once.
Why? Because once we take that first drink we don't know if we'll behave ourselves or if we'll blackout and behave terribly.
I went years thinking I would learn to control my drinking. These were the years when I would blackout and do destructive and dangerous things.
2. I don't think it's "us" when we do that.
I've been sober for two years and my friends have forgiven me. This only happened in sobriety.
I think often about the people who wake up from a blackout in a police cell. Somehow I managed to avoid this particular situation. Could you imagine waking up and not even knowing how you got there? Luckily I only woke up having no idea what happened the night before in bed, on the couch, on the floor, and in homes I didn't recognize.
I still shudder at a few blackout episodes from years ago. As long as I'm sober though I'm able to forgive myself.