Hi Sleepie,
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time lately. I will have 8 months on September 1st, so I use you as one of my guiding lights on this sobriety journey.
Have you found anything to make you feel better? Exercise? Meditation? Yoga? Reading? How about taking a class, learning to cook.. Anything that will allow you to focus your energies into something positive you enjoy.
We are both at the point where we know not drinking/using is only part of our recovery journey.
You are strong, you have already proven that. You can do this, and I am glad you are here and posting to receive whatever support you need right now.
Sending lots of love your way.