I love the holidays as well. Esp as a sober alcoholic in recovery I'm discovering all the new fun things about it that aren't about extra time off work to be off my face.
My partner still drinks. A lot at times. My plans for the holiday period will not be reliant on him. I know that once we're back at school, gradually things will start to be advertised, and I shall be drawing myself up a calender of events to get involved with and enjoy. As a member of a happy and strong church community, there are always lots of additional roles to volunteer for. Last year I helped with the advent service as a welcome return - not exactly an important job, but it means that I felt part of things, and that I got to know women other people a but better (even if only to develop a nodding acquaintance ) which is important to me as I've only been here a few years and all my other 'adult' (hahaha) socialising had revolved around drinking. This year I'm going to volunteer to help with the lunches on Christmas day that the Cathedral organises for people who would otherwise be alone at Christmas - mainly elderly and homeless folk I believe. A few others from my AA home group did that last year and say that it was an amazing experience for them. No doubt my OH will go out drinking on Christmas day, and he can sleep some of it off and I'll give him some dinner when I return.
Re the codependency stuff. I am also codependent. It doesn't only affect our relationships with partners. It can affect all areas of our lives. Thing is, a bit like the AA stuff, a little acceptance and awareness goes a long way. Now I've done some work on it I can recognise why I feel certain ways and pause just long enough to think through my reactions so that I don't compound things. If you investigate the issue of codependency and do see that you have some codependent traits, in a way that can be a good thing, as there is so much support and information about this out there for people to draw on. This page has a good list of the patterns and characteristics of codependent people, and might be intresting to you (I look at it and could have fallen off my chair - I'm not quite a poster girl for it, but pretty close)
Patterns and Characteristics 2011 - CoDA.org
PS one lady I know who now has some great recovery told me that she only came to AA because she was court ordered at first. While she had to go she hated it. She hated the people there. And then she relapsed and continued to drink for another few years. But then when she decided for herself that she WANT ED sobriety she had no hesitation in returning to AA, and said she knew that it was the place she knew that she could learn to get sober. I don't know if this gives you some hope or not really, as although it is positive NOW, it was hardly instant success. Although instantaneous success eludes most people in recovery. Recovery is more of a journey and often the journey is along a pretty bumpy old road.
Anyway. I wish you well.