healthyagain

Ever since I left my AH, it is like the whole new world opened for me. And it is great most of the time, but it is also learning how to live again. Another issue is that I come from a totally different culture, so I'm still learning how things are done here.

There is something I've noticed that kinda bothers me. It might sound funny, but I hate being called "hon." I can tolerate it when it is an older person, or when it is said jokingly among friends, but there is something that really triggers me.

Now I come from a culture that has two forms of the pronoun you. It is kinda like in German language. "du" is you, but so is "Sie," capitalized. When you talk to someone unknown, you will use the capital form, out of respect. I think that language creates an automatic boundary and there is respectful atmosphere when people are interacting.

So, for almost 30 years, I had lived in this culture of "formalities," and then I start being called hon, in a small Midwestern town, and I have these ladies, being all worried about me, as if I am some little kid, and asking questions that I do not find appropriate. And all I hear is in my head is "boundaries, boundaries, boundaries," and then I wonder, are they crossing them? Is this "normal"? Am I being too sensitive?

Or, another example: I am chatting to a person that I could describe as a friendly acquaintance, and I say that I would like to move to another town. Her first reaction is, "But it is so expensive! So what degree do you have? And driving there is much worse." My inner reaction to this is, "Hey, this is not exactly what you should say. And how do you know how much I earn?" My first gut feeling is that she was inappropriate. But I do not know, I always think it is me who cannot read the social cues anymore.