vaya.....sorry, but I just HAVE to point out the irony here....lol....
You are trying to help him....and, he said he is mad at you.....
We are trying to help you and you hate us......
I think that the worst thing he can do is to stay at someone else"s apartment when they are away. He is sure to feel more free to use/drink, there! They always do!
I know that it is so hard for you to believe, but he will "get the messages" much more from anybody else, but YOU!
At this point, the outside world has much m ore control over him than you do.
And, it is not important...how "comfortable" he is. That has no effect on his accepting the need for recovery. In fact, it is the opposite.
Stop making him comfortable.....
Don't take his mean words to you, personally (as much as you can)...
That is his disease talking...and he KNOWS that it bothers you. He will hit your guilt and fear buttons like nobody's business...just to keep you in line and doing what he wants you to do.....
Sure he will talk to y ou, again...lol.....just as soon as he wants something!
I know that it is hard, when they seem sober and "human" for a lttle while.
Remember, that you aren't trying to hurt him or to p unish him---you are doing the very thing that will HELP him, in the long run.
Not enabling, and showing very strong boundaries is the most loving thing you can do for the addicted. They don't have boundaries and someone has to supply boundaries for their own good!
While it feel so good when they are sober....don't forget that they have a long road ahead where they will need discipline and structure. if they are to get into recovery......
Hang tough, mom!
dandylion