GoodKarma, my AS is also 43 and it was just a little over a year ago that we found out how bad his addiction was.
It is the hardest thing a Mother will ever have to do but, you have to have "tough love"!
Our AS turned our world upside down with his addiction and until we were able to finally "let go" with love we were on that Merry Go Round.
I think it was Zoso who said to me when I said I was tired of this Merry Go Round he simply said, "So, get off" that really hit home for me. So DH and I did. We told him "NO" more times than I can count, for "favors" for him.
He has moved out of state and we really do not have contact with him. He says he is trying to get his life together. We pray that he does. But, our life has become so much simpler and quiet with out him in it.
I feel bad and I pray for him everyday but, he's made his choices now HE has to live with it!
This forum is a wonderful help especially on the really hard days....