Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
I understand the feelings, I've felt them myself. It stems from thinking that sobriety is depriving us of something enjoyable, that quitting drinking is some sort of punishment.
It's not.
We use the term ball and chain to refer to something that restricts one's freedom or limits one's possibilities for personal pursuits.
Alcohol is our ball and chain.
You said yourself that, "I really have started feeling that I can't feel or experience "fun" or be relaxed unless I'm drunk."
You have to have alcohol to have fun? That sounds more like punishment than having the freedom to enjoy life whenever, however we want without the ball and chain of alcohol.
Recovery is not the punishment. Having to drink is.
Wow! Such a powerful read right there. I know it was meant for the original poster but I had to say thanks cuz it really spoke to me!
Im a rebellious person by nature and if Im told I CANT do something or have something, well Ill damn sure show you I can! *stomping foot* lol.
Looking at my recovery as a choice feels so much way better and Im on board with that and it keeps my teenage rebellious youngster at bay. If I start to tell myself Im not going to have any fun because I cant have alcohol, I will surely relapse in short order.
Mom used to say, dont cut off your nose to spite your face. I never really understood that silly saying but now, as a bonafide alcoholic complete with all the defects of charecter that comes with it, I FINALLY understand.
Today I choose to be sober and free.
Blessings and thanks again!