You're not "crazy" but I think you are in serious denial about what kind of person you are married to, and the prospects of his changing so he can be a good partner.
I think the reason your therapist is so insistent on your spending some time apart is that when he is there, all of your attention is on him--what he's doing, what will happen to him, how to make everything OK. I think she sees it's very hard for you to focus on what's best for YOU while he is around. He DOES control you. You kind of rationalize that what you are doing is so everything will be OK and that it's in your best interest to do that, but it actually isn't in your best interest--it's in HIS best interest (from his perspective). He is PLAYING you, just as he's played his family, the courts, his treatment professionals, etc. Sooner or later the courts won't tolerate it. I'm just worried about what happens to you in the meantime.