I think it's completely understandable...you haven't been able to control him, his parents haven't, the law really hasn't...and he's still gaming the system by cheating out of that third meeting. He is still not getting it and frankly, being six kinds of selfish ass in the process.
Two things...first, you intuitively understand that him paying lip service to recovery is meaningless. That's a perfectly good reason to want to see him humbled enough to take this seriously and at least appear to understand that he has hurt you and his parents badly.
Second...you're exhausted from doing all the work and constantly second-guessing yourself because he keeps minimizing his problem. Having a third party come down on him hard would mean you could stop doing both because it would be proof that this IS serious.
You may want to be thinking about your Plan B if he continues down this path. He doesn't respect you, he doesn't seem to care who he hurts...do you really "love" him at this point?
I'm sorry. This is so painful.