I relate to your story too, and I am about a decade older than you. I wish I had stopped at 32 years old. I would have saved myself a lot of pain and upset, and it's a guarantee that I would have been more successful in my career and life in general. More importantly, I would not have come so close to ruining my health.
I finally stopped living in denial. I got to a point of absolute clarity and knew two things for an absolute fact: firstly, I would die from drinking if I continued and secondly, I was well on the road to losing everything I had worked for.
When I knew those two things with absolute certainty, there were no more nights of debating with myself whether I would go and buy a bottle of wine. Those debates became nonsense. What debate can there be between choosing a fulfilling satisfying life and a path of death and destruction?
All the best Flower. There is a ton of support here that helped me get to that place of clarity, and it can help you too.