Dear Sasha,
I really feel for you. I can only tell you of my own experience and encourage you to go to Al-Anon and read the posts on here especially the one about hooks.
For me, my first step was deciding What I wanted, what it looked like, felt like smelled like, tasted like, WHAT I really wanted. Then I had to make a plan to get it. A big part of that for me which came almost 2 years after I decided WHAT I wanted was setting my boundaries. That is really hard to do. I am living within my boundary right now and I am still scared. It helps me to lay it in God's hands, pray for knowledge of his will and courage to carry it out, go to meetings, do my readings, work my steps, work on discovering my real true self and paying attention to what I need. I am already very good at taking care of others (co-dependent) now I am ready to turn that obsessive energy to the place that really matters...my self.
I am sorry you are going through this. Can you see a reason for it? Can you see God working in your life? What is your dream? What worries you? You are not alone. You are loved. You deserve to be cherished.