Originally Posted by
firebolt 
I think we minimize ATROCITIES that happen to us for several reasons.
1 - to get through it in the moment, and to live with what happened in the future.
2 - out of deep rooted shame for being in the situation
3 - out of fear of having to change
Many things you have been through are NOT OK. We stifle that voice inside us that says its NOT OK because subconsciously and sometimes consciously (for the people well more self aware than I) we don't think we deserve any better.
You do deserve better. You can start monitoring your inner voices - and weed through the ones that are sick you talking, and healthy you talking. In the beginning, healthy you is the quiet one. Start paying attention, and eventually, the real you will be so loud that you'll have no choice left but to take action to shut her up. THAT is how we were meant to live. (((HUGS)))
Thank you Firebolt,
I am really working hard on identifying what's really going on. Trusting myself. Knowing what's right and following my own moral conpass.
I used to have a journal I kept but discarded it when I thought things were better. I felt guilty, but I need to do that in order to give myself the reality check I need sometimes. It's like that movie "Inception" - it's hard to recognize the truth or which level of the "dream" you are on.