Sparklekitty and Dandylion,
Thank you both so much. I was worried I was being petty....but deep down I KNEW it wasn't. This makes me so sad.
I think we minimize ATROCITIES that happen to us for several reasons.
1 - to get through it in the moment, and to live with what happened in the future.
2 - out of deep rooted shame for being in the situation
3 - out of fear of having to change
Many things you have been through are NOT OK. We stifle that voice inside us that says its NOT OK because subconsciously and sometimes consciously (for the people well more self aware than I) we don't think we deserve any better.
You do deserve better. You can start monitoring your inner voices - and weed through the ones that are sick you talking, and healthy you talking. In the beginning, healthy you is the quiet one. Start paying attention, and eventually, the real you will be so loud that you'll have no choice left but to take action to shut her up. THAT is how we were meant to live. (((HUGS)))