Thanks for sharing your story, leighbond, and you're so right. I wouldn't be here if I felt in control. While this has obviously been something that's been going on for awhile, in the past few weeks I did feel like it was getting out of my control...drinking "my usual" (two bottles of wine, four beers) two weeknights, and still going all out on Friday. I think what prompted me to post was something I read in one of Sarah Hepola's recent columns in Jezebel...I really have started feeling that I can't feel or experience "fun" or be relaxed unless I'm drunk. I've lost any other context for those feelings absent alcohol. And that scares me.