Hi - this is my first time on any board. I am a 29 yr old mother of three young children. I became a stay at home mom after I gave birth to my first child 4 years ago. I have been with my husband since I was a teenager. Shortly after we bought our home in the late 90's he started drinking. It was gradual at first but quickly became worse. I guilt myself often for not having the strength to leave then before bringing innocent children into the mix. In the middle of this my mother died who was my best friend. He actually stopped for about a year and I was thrilled, only then to find out that he had replaced that addiction with a painkiller addiction. He only admitted it to me after the person he had been getting them from stopped receiving them. Now without them he seems to be starting to slowly drift back into drinking again. I am tired of the constant broken promises, the
depression that I feel as a result of all of this..I am just tired. I still love him very much but I don't even have the hope of him ever getting well anymore and feel it is unfair to my children and myself too. I know I am like a lot of other women out there who would love to leave but feel trapped because of finances. I don't work and can't work because I have three children under the age of 4 and daycare is not a possibility because of the expense. I have no siblings and all of my family live far away so I cannot rely on their help. My question to anyone out there is does anyone have any ideas/suggestions on how someone in my "trapped" way of life can leave?? I am tired of loving more than I feel I am being loved back...it is an empty existence.