Lefty,
It sounds like there is more going on within you than the accident. I think maybe a lot of your pain comes from other things. The accident may be where you've placed the pain, but maybe there are other reasons.
There is an answer and a way out. You just haven't found it yet. You will though. I suffered for 20 years and when I exhausted all my resources my HP started showing me what it was all about. I spent 5 years remembering and facing the issues that were causing my pain and guilt. My HP isn't finished with me yet, but I lost thousands of pounds of pain.
There is so much hope. I never in a million years thought I would get better, but I did. You can too.
Keep sharing how you feel. Talk about anything. It's safe here to let it all out.
Hugs,
MG