I was just about to pack it in and leave this site. Because I don't find giving up drinking agonizing, I'm not full of angnst, I don't mull over every tiny thing that happens to me and turn it into an excuse to want to drink. I'm not depressed and anxious. I don't like being told because of this I'm on some non-existant pink cloud. I'm just happier because I'm not full of toxins.
I don't ever want to drink again. I also don't want to stay in recoveryism all my life.
And I don't want to be told if I am feeling good and confident, it's my AV creeping up on me.
I just want to be able to put down that chapter in my life and get on with a new one. That chapter is over and I don't want to end up obsessing about not drinking for the rest of my life as much as I obsessed over drinking.
I just want to live again.
It has been very refreshing to read the people here in secular connections