There's a lot more to recovery than simply abstaining from drugs/alcohol. It requires a whole new mindset and way of thinking. It also means trying to make amends for all the pain and hurt that was caused by addiction.
The people that I know that are truly working on their recovery are aware of what they did during their addiction and take the time to reconnect with loved ones. It's a slow process because it takes time to rebuild the trust that was lost. Those that are working their recovery know that their actions speak louder than words and they also know that rebuilding that trust will not happen overnight.
It doesn't sound like your spouse is working a recovery program. How about you? Are you attending any meetings or therapy? Loving and living with an addict can feel like we've been fighting a war and we have the wounds to prove it. We have our own recovery to work on too so I hope you are taking care of yourself. Sending you lots of hugs.