Originally Posted by
MLD51 
I have found that sometimes people in our lives who still drink after we have quit feel threatened somehow, even if they don't really realize it. Because you are growing and changing, and they aren't. Even if your husband is a normie, he may feel afraid you are going to outgrow him somehow. So his fear comes out sideways, subtle (or not-so-subtle) attempts to sabotage your sobriety. Just my thoughts.
A real good explanation/description. ^^^^^
And, really, a good way to describe human behavior in general. When someone feels threatened, it often DOES 'come out sideways'....acting out, being childish, antagonizing, passive-aggressive. Really, I could sit around all day and analyze the MOTIVE and behavior of others ad-nauseam.
But when these behaviors come from someone who WE think should be one of our greatest support people, it seems like it's more difficult to live with and then we find ourselves reacting in ways that make us feel worse and can even make the situation worse.
What's the answer? I put myself in your place and yes, it's very hard NOT to just react. You probably need to detach somehow and keep your energy directed
inward. You gonna grow more sober muscles as you go along and a lot of that I think is learning to be able to deflect a lot of the riff raff stuff going on in life that could just drag you down into the muck and mire.
It's likely that you have turned to alcohol and pot to 'numb out' this type of stuff before. Now you don't have that and it's life on life's terms, an expression we use a lot.
Hang tough, and don't give up.