Sorry he's this way. Thing is, rage, anger and resentment are bigger enemies to us than the normies who offers us a drink. So, you have discovered that he is unhelpful. You have choices now about how to react. With rage (futile, energy zapping, triggering - remember HALT - anger)? Or with Acceptance? The unexpected inner resource? The thing that helps us to deal with life on life's terms, which is the aim of recovery.
I am not saying that he is right, or okay. That's nit the point. The point is that resentments are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
As someone said to me about my dad. "is he behaving different to how he usually behaves?" (My response was along the lines of 'no', but with lots more expletives involved). "Then why expectin him to change now?"
On my daily prayer and meditation sheets I have drawn a caution sign, and in it I have written 'I want..... But..... If only.....' to remind me that when I start down the road of wishful thinking, the next stop along it is generally self-pity, then a bit further along is rage and resentment.
Most of this is an inside job. Good luck.