My limited comprehension of our terrible relations with others is that we tend to resentfully focus on the other guy's wrongdoings in order to smokescreen, excuse, justify, blame, minimize, deny or forget our own.
Once I saw my part in things -- going back through my whole life, I became STUNNED by the years spent in what was now clear to me - delusion, deception, useless war, argument (justifications) and childish nonsense. I became OVERWHELMED with general amnesty - of course!!! for everyone - like I saw we all were largely suffering from the same fears. I was freed to grok the line in the book 'see them as perhaps spiritually sick (just like us) and ask 'god' whether we believe there is one or not to show us how to be helpful or at least kindly and tolerant'. Prudence and careful timing are always advisable as is consultation of our intentions with others who may be affected, and those we trust for advice and guidance.
Whole different ballgame, we have done our share of much we oughtn't have, failed to do what we ought to have, and been simply ignorant of many better possibilities. Certainly, where we have contributed to other's unhappiness in some way, we can begin to use our imagination to see whether we can repair with some happiness or peace or understanding or...well...frankly I'm not too well versed in these 'ways of the force' yet enough to elaborate lol!
But our own fears are at the root, once seen, and our blaming antics, it all becomes quite indescribably laughable, all the bs, and energies once locked in combat become available for happy creative fun and purposeful living. Drink troubles disappear and we find ourselves possessed with a sober mind and spirit we didn't know possible, and very close to whole.
Nobody has to swallow all of it right away. Simple willingness - real willingness - to go through with it when it becomes clear is plenty, and MANY of us have skimped HEAVILY on practical and forthright amends and the 'god of soberness' doesn't seem to be as hard on us as we can get on ourselves at times.
Alimony disputes...custody battles...prison...personal slights...debts owed...blech. We just have to be willing to ignore their side and repair ours, once that is in place wonderful things can come. My ex's ex's new mate always does our laundry for us when we pass thru...like one big loose family, plenty nuff goodwill. Beats worrying about poison in the drink or barns blazing...
Very hard to put ourselves in the other guy's shoes to see how we would like it...but it must be done. Reliance will go on our creator, not expecting anybody else to 'do the right thing'...
If our conduct continues to hurt others and we are not sorry , we will drink.
Oh ya and we are not to be 'servile or scraping' either or crawling begging for forgiveness. We are standing on our own two feet for a change...Not asking for anything - there to see where we can GIVE for a change lol. Cheers!