Jk1986

My husband & I have have been married for 3 years. We have 1 daughter who is 8 months old.I 1st found out about his addiction to crack in 2012. There were many ups and downs between us from that time on. He went to rehab 3 times. The 1st time he only stayed a couple days. The 2nd time he stayed for a month. The 3rd and final time the program was supposed to be for 3 months but he only stayed for 1 month. After that last time at rehab (which was last year) he swears up and down that he has no desire to ever do crack again ever in life and for a long time I believed him. Little mysterious things would happen here and there but he would have me believing that drugs is out the question. For example, one day we were at his mom's house & he asked me for the food stamp card so he could go to the store to buy dinner for us to eat with his mom. I let him see the card, he went to the grocery store by himself. He was gone for a little while but not too long but when he returned I checked the balance of my card and there was an extra $20 missing besides wat he spent on the dinner. I asked him what happened to the extra $20 and he said he didn't knw. I called the grocery store to find out what was purchased and they told me some pizza & ground beef. So that means he payed for someone else's groceries too with the food stamps in exchange for their cash. That's one incident. Also, since March he's been hanging with a man who's like 20+ yrs older than him. My husband is only 27. Anyway, since March he's been hanging with this man & he was starting to be more distant from me & our baby. He NEVER had time for us NEVER! He would stay out in my car at all hours of the night or not come home at all. When he is home we still don't get any quality time because he'll sleep the whole day away(literally like 8/9 hours straight thru) After he wakes up its back to his friend's house. Then he blames me for the reason he's not home. He says I'm so negative and argumentative. But I only complain because I know somethings not right, he's not acting like himself. I asked my husband does his friend sell crack but he denies it and says he only sells weed. But recently I found out that the friend indeed does sell crack. Now my husband doesn't come home at all or call me or his own mother at that. I need help and insight on what the problem might be because I keep 2nd guessing myself and blaming myself by thinking maybe he isn't on drugs maybe it is me. I'm driving myself crazy can anybody help me. I'm an emotional wreck. I can't believe he's doing this to me and our baby. He doesn't even check on his one and only child?! How could he abandon us like this 😓