Aw thank you guys
Yeah, we were talking in between and hanging out. He told me he wanted me back, told me he'll finally go to counseling. I told him he had to be 100% sober for at least a year for me to move back in, and this time (since I'm christian) I'm not moving in with someone until I'm married.
And really that scared me, because how am I to trust him that he's truly sober if I don't live with him and be able to monitor it (which I've read in the al-anon pamphlets that you're not supposed to be monitoring hehe oops). So I think I always had it in my mind that I wasn't going to get back together with him, but idk, it is hard just all of a sudden not seeing someone anymore. I've always struggled with that aspect of breaking up with someone. So it was kind of like easing myself out of it.
But yeah, last weekend he told me that he can't do it anymore unless I move in or give him some hope. Said he's just gonna go back to his ways. I told him he could find hobbies besides bars. He also said he thought he could but he can't be with anyone unless they have sex with him. He said he's not getting any benefits. ...oh well buddy.
See, I've really changed this time around. Idk if you're allowed to mention religion, but having God really helps me see past just my life and my feelings, and to have hope for a better life. So this time I really am done. And finding al-anon and a forum where other people go through the same cycles and hurt, it's just really helping a lot
So anyways, bekind, yeah that part is terrible. I know he can't be alone so I know he's out at the bars, probably not there to look, but I'm sure he'll find someone to start dating again real soon. It stings