My ex was nice kind and loving most of the time- but drunk abusive and nasty when he was drinking and he wouldn't stop and I had finally had enough. After 33 years of marriage. I finally realized even one episode of abuse is enough. And if you love someone and you become abusive when you drink, you stop drinking altogether. If you are unwilling to stop drinking and being abusive- even if it's only once every couple of months, the marriage is over.