In my youth I went through some terrible things. Things kids have no fault in. That made me see in my 20's that damn... My childhood was not normal. I was a decade behind my peers in understanding what life was all about. Love, sex, growing up.
Then in my 30's I finally started to relax enough to live. Just a little. I never drank or drugged before then. Could not spare the control. Needed that for my iron clad grip on life. But it was then I discovered the ability to let loose. Get drunk and sky high. I was 25 when I was 35.
My 40's had little hope as I entered them a full on crack head and drunk. Can't even compare the loss of my 40's on my being. A time when everything traded in tandem with shady folks in corners of bars and allies. I was not one of them. One of those... But I was. I truly was.
Fast forward to me pecking this out to you. A full decade later. A deep sense of life renewed sits in the pit of my belly. Every time that voice tells me it's too late... You're finished. Your time has past and you spent it high and drunk. Where sex was meaningless and love was trampled on.
You and I both know that voice. It's the voice that did this to us.
I admit. It catches me off guard sometimes. Like in mourning for someone lost, you wake and forget they are gone. You feel good until you are reminded that you aren't supposed to feel good. They are gone.
True. But I am not gone. I am right here. With a life in progress. A sober life as best as I can manage. It's never too late... I squash that voice. I give it no sound. I refuse to mourn for the younger version of Ken. I am NOT dead yet.
It's never too late. This weekend squash that voice. If it is telling you to drink or telling you you are done, pay it no mind. Post here and live a little and see others living.
Welcome to your sober weekend!
Ken