L,
Welcome!! We are a strong group of men and women who have been through more things then you can imagine. You are officially our friend, honey you have more friends then you ever knew you could. Your husband can never chase us a way as we are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Here for the long haul!!
I am seeing you are so overwhelmed, with what is going on in your life. The nice thing on this forum is that sr, like alanon recommends you not to make any decisions for at least 6 months. Please read the stickies and educate your self about addiction. I know the crap he has been doing to you is all text book, we have seen it before. We can help you, and walk you through this. Yes he is abusive, we don't want you to do anything that could put you in danger. You take your time and when you get stronger mentally and physically you can execute anything you will need to do for you and your childrens safety.
Sending many hugs my friend, we care!!!