Originally Posted by
FaithfulAndFree 
The last time I drank was the day before yesterday. And while I made it home safe and sound, I don't remember the drive. And what keeps eating at me is that I had 2 kids that I love very much in the car with me. The "what ifs" keeps playing in my head. And what does that say about me? I've never done this before and would be infuriated to ever hear of someone risking the lives of innocent children. I hate myself for doing it and I can't forgive myself.
Alcohol makes us selfish (and often horrible) human beings. And there's no way to predict what we might do when under its influence. The only way to ensure something like the above never happens again is to not ever take that first drink again.
Instead of worrying about forgiving yourself, try to take steps to ensure you stay sober going forward.