Made vast improvements in my life but nothing is paying off
To make a long story short, I was discharged from the military for an alcohol related incident. I had an otherwise exemplary enlistment including two deployments. That was back in 2012. I have always been academically inclined so I went back to school. But, b/c of my discharge I did not qualify for any tuition support.
I moved back in with my parents at first, but they were emotionally abusive growing up and made me feel like I was an inconvenience my entire childhood. We clash very easily and its a toxic environment where all they do is bring up mistakes I've made in the past constantly. My dad brings up on a daily basis how many mistakes I've made.
So, I moved to the town my school was in. I worked full time at a minimum wage job to support myself while going to school full time. After two years of working usually almost everyday, I finally graduated with my degree in May. I always thought in my head, that everything would just somehow work out if I got my degree. I was an honors graduate with a 3.5 GPA.
Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Because of my discharge I don't qualify for veteran preference hiring, despite the fact I spent a year in the middle east.
I've applied to 40 jobs, and have not even gotten so much as a phone call or interview. Its very disheartening. I can't go back to working a minimum wage job, b/c it would kill me inside. All of the work and countless hours I put in would be for not. It would literally break me.
I cut my last check for rent this month, and now my bank account is empty, I've been selling my blood plasma to pay for food. On July 31 I have to move out of my apartment. If I don't move back in with my parents I'll be homeless. But, I know that moving back into that environment where I am constantly reminded of my failures as a person is not going to work.
I've become very disheartened on applying for jobs, but I do so everyday. I've even started searching out of state. I need something positive to happen once in my life. I do not think it will work out with my parents and I'll probably be living out of my car in a walmart parking lot. Still clinging on to some sort of hope things will work out. I'm currently working as an intern, and everyone tells me what a difference I've made there. But, there are no open jobs for me. If you've got some prayers, I need them.