Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Alcoholism Information > Alcoholism
Reload this Page >

Made vast improvements in my life but nothing is paying off



Notices

Made vast improvements in my life but nothing is paying off

Old 07-18-2016, 05:25 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
SlickRick07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 160
Made vast improvements in my life but nothing is paying off

To make a long story short, I was discharged from the military for an alcohol related incident. I had an otherwise exemplary enlistment including two deployments. That was back in 2012. I have always been academically inclined so I went back to school. But, b/c of my discharge I did not qualify for any tuition support.

I moved back in with my parents at first, but they were emotionally abusive growing up and made me feel like I was an inconvenience my entire childhood. We clash very easily and its a toxic environment where all they do is bring up mistakes I've made in the past constantly. My dad brings up on a daily basis how many mistakes I've made.

So, I moved to the town my school was in. I worked full time at a minimum wage job to support myself while going to school full time. After two years of working usually almost everyday, I finally graduated with my degree in May. I always thought in my head, that everything would just somehow work out if I got my degree. I was an honors graduate with a 3.5 GPA.

Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Because of my discharge I don't qualify for veteran preference hiring, despite the fact I spent a year in the middle east.

I've applied to 40 jobs, and have not even gotten so much as a phone call or interview. Its very disheartening. I can't go back to working a minimum wage job, b/c it would kill me inside. All of the work and countless hours I put in would be for not. It would literally break me.

I cut my last check for rent this month, and now my bank account is empty, I've been selling my blood plasma to pay for food. On July 31 I have to move out of my apartment. If I don't move back in with my parents I'll be homeless. But, I know that moving back into that environment where I am constantly reminded of my failures as a person is not going to work.

I've become very disheartened on applying for jobs, but I do so everyday. I've even started searching out of state. I need something positive to happen once in my life. I do not think it will work out with my parents and I'll probably be living out of my car in a walmart parking lot. Still clinging on to some sort of hope things will work out. I'm currently working as an intern, and everyone tells me what a difference I've made there. But, there are no open jobs for me. If you've got some prayers, I need them.
SlickRick07 is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 05:58 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,040
I'm hoping that something turns up for you Rick - sounds like you deserve break

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 06:02 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,325
I'm sorry that you're discouraged right now. I agree that moving in with your parents would be a mistake because they will pull you down. My suggestion is to take any job, get out there and work at a minimum wage job if you have to, but work. You will feel better about yourself and you can continue your job search while working. Also, every person you meet is an opportunity to help you find a job. If you're working in a low-paying job, take advantage of the situation and talk to people. Talk to your customers and tell them you are looking for a job in your field. You never know when things might work out. I wish you well.
Anna is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 06:06 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,669
I hope things start looking up for you soon.
least is online now  
Old 07-18-2016, 06:15 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
SlickRick07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I'm sorry that you're discouraged right now. I agree that moving in with your parents would be a mistake because they will pull you down. My suggestion is to take any job, get out there and work at a minimum wage job if you have to, but work. You will feel better about yourself and you can continue your job search while working. Also, every person you meet is an opportunity to help you find a job. If you're working in a low-paying job, take advantage of the situation and talk to people. Talk to your customers and tell them you are looking for a job in your field. You never know when things might work out. I wish you well.
I wish I could. I worked 2 jobs for the majority of my college time and can't go back. I'd rather live on the streets than do that again. I know its stupid, but I've put so much time and effort into this, that I can't go back. If that was the case, I wouldn't have wasted my time going to college. I worked 6 months with 2 days off during that span. I know you are just trying to help, I'm just frustrated.

But, deep down, I'll be homeless before I work minimum wage again. You don't get out of poverty. Employers see that and don't think you are capable of more. What sucks is I have such awesome references. Two of the hospital directors have told me to use them as references. But, no one calls. If it takes being homeless, than that is what it takes.
SlickRick07 is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 07:30 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
you don't think it might be easier to get out of poverty/minimum wage job than out of homelessness?


Originally Posted by SlickRick07 View Post
I wish I could. I worked 2 jobs for the majority of my college time and can't go back. I'd rather live on the streets than do that again. I know its stupid, but I've put so much time and effort into this, that I can't go back. If that was the case, I wouldn't have wasted my time going to college. I worked 6 months with 2 days off during that span. I know you are just trying to help, I'm just frustrated.

But, deep down, I'll be homeless before I work minimum wage again. You don't get out of poverty. Employers see that and don't think you are capable of more. What sucks is I have such awesome references. Two of the hospital directors have told me to use them as references. But, no one calls. If it takes being homeless, than that is what it takes.
fini is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 07:35 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
SlickRick07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by fini View Post
you don't think it might be easier to get out of poverty/minimum wage job than out of homelessness?
No they are about equal. I'd rather work for free as an intern and gain experience than work minimum wage, homeless or not. Employers look at previous employment, if you have a degree and are working a minimum wage job, you aren't desirable. Even less so than I am now. I can live out of my car and sell plasma for food. If you have experience or thoughts otherwise let me know.

I made this thread to let people know....even if you turn your life around, sometimes life sucks. Things don't always work out for everyone. Have realistic expectations. Even when your family is abusive and your friends don't care about you.....you can always sleep in your car at Walmart. But hey at least I have a car.
SlickRick07 is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 07:41 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I understand your pain. I have a similar background. Dysfunctional family, left them to go to college, graduated with honors, two liberal arts degrees ... and then nothing. No great jobs waiting for me. I chalk it up to the liberal arts degrees. And not coming from money. I had no connections.

I worked a string of jobs where I was underpaid for about ten years. Then I got tired of that and carved out a niche for myself as a blogger/freelance writer for realtors. I also work one day per week as a rural mail carrier. I'm not rolling in money; I still have debt to pay off. But I'm able to make a living and write my short stories.

It was a long, hard road to get to this point. Sometimes you have to make something happen instead of waiting on someone to pick you. I got tired of being 'picked' by people I had no desire to slave away for, and all the bullcrap that entails.

I think you can follow your heart and carve out your own path. I'm here and I did just that. Still working on it.
Soberpotamus is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 07:50 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
SlickRick07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by Soberpotamus View Post
I understand your pain. I have a similar background. Dysfunctional family, left them to go to college, graduated with honors, two liberal arts degrees ... and then nothing. No great jobs waiting for me. I chalk it up to the liberal arts degrees. And not coming from money. I had no connections.

I worked a string of jobs where I was underpaid for about ten years. Then I got tired of that and carved out a niche for myself as a blogger/freelance writer for realtors. I also work one day per week as a rural mail carrier. I'm not rolling in money; I still have debt to pay off. But I'm able to make a living and write my short stories.

It was a long, hard road to get to this point. Sometimes you have to make something happen instead of waiting on someone to pick you. I got tired of being 'picked' by people I had no desire to slave away for, and all the bullcrap that entails.

I think you can follow your heart and carve out your own path. I'm here and I did just that. Still working on it.
Thank you for your response, especially from someone that understands. I actually got a BS science degree in the medical field. I think employers are ignoring me b/c I'm too old for an entry level degree position and not experienced enough for a more advanced position. So I'm stuck in limbo.

I do understand where you are coming from. I am sick of working for no money though and did it to make it this far. I have always had a passion for food. So, if I do not find something soon, I am starting on my business plan of starting my own quick grill diner. I refuse to work a minimum wage job anymore, when I know I'm capable of so much more given the chance. Its not possible for me to take a lower job, b/c it won't be experience in my field and I will never get a higher job.
SlickRick07 is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 08:58 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
now's the time
 
fantail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Does your school have a career center? It might be helpful to have someone look at the resume and cover letters you've been sending. If the field is new to you there might be things you're not saying quite the right way, or things you should be playing up more than you are... every industry has its own quirks and it's enough to drive you nuts. I've had job hunts where I change a couple words and all of a sudden I get call backs.

Not trying to be too prescriptive. I've gone through some pretty tumultuous career stuff over time and I understand how bad it can feel.
fantail is offline  
Old 07-18-2016, 10:47 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I hope your luck changes Rick
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 07-19-2016, 05:47 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
zjw
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
maybe employers are ignoreing you because its a fresh out of school thing? I'm always amazed at those who finish school and find a job irght off the bat. I know when i got into my field no one would touch me I had to claw my way to where i am now. My little brother however fresh out of school gets hired doing stuff slightly down a grade from me not too much tho right off the bat. I thought geeze some people have all the luck I just got ignored.

The upside is things always work out one way or another it just stinks when your at this particular phase of the game.

I was out of work one time and even minimum wage jobs wouldnt touch me. I'd fill out the applications and have to put down my past salaries. I'm fairly certain thats why they woudlnt hire me. why would a guy who made good money stick around at a min wage gig? so i'd just get passed by meanwhile i had kids to feed!!

I finally found a friend of mine who managed a gas station said hey i need some work he hired me on i filled out the application. Asked him to read my employement history and asked him if he didnt know me what he would think about a guy with my crudentials applying to work there given the kind of money I could make elsewhere. He said he'd think i was totally insane!!

and that is why no one would hire me even for a min wage job when i was like starving to death.

I hope it works out for you. In my case it did I had to sell everything and move 1200 miles away etc... but it was for the better.
zjw is offline  
Old 07-19-2016, 05:50 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
zjw
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
one thing thats always helped me too is when i'm in an interview i knwo the times i strolled in there happy positive and confident things went well. UNLESS the guy on the other side of the table was conceited or something being confident in the presense of someone like that seemed to backfire they seemed to prefer someone who hung there head low and lacked some confidence. I guess they want a wipping boy or something lol. In my case I didnt feed into that. Because more often then not being positive confident and smiling was the key. Even tho my car might be about to be repo's and my life might be falling apart I never let any of that on in an interview lol.
zjw is offline  
Old 07-19-2016, 07:20 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
advbike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,545
I second the opinion of having someone else proof your resume and external communications. It may be fine, but when I was a hiring manager I was appalled at the quality of communications I would receive sometimes. Bad grammar, spelling errors.. I was shocked. It indicated sloppiness, or a lack of awareness especially if your job is going to involve working with customers. Again, yours may be perfect, but I'm trying to throw out thoughts as to why you might not be getting any responses.

I do wish you the best in achieving your aspirations.
advbike is offline  
Old 07-19-2016, 08:54 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Andante's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
Originally Posted by SlickRick07 View Post
I can't go back to working a minimum wage job, b/c it would kill me inside.
While I do sympathize with your situation and understand how frustrating it must be, I can't help feeling a bit put off by this comment.

Perhaps there's something about your résumé that conveys a whiff of entitlement, which may be why you're not getting the responses you expect?

If I were a prospective employer and had to choose between two applicants, one whose recent work experience showed a willingness to continue toughing out a menial job and making the best of it, and the other who says he's been living in his car and selling plasma to earn food money because a menial job would "kill him inside," I know which one I'd be more likely to go with.
Andante is offline  
Old 07-19-2016, 09:09 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
kittycat3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I second the career center suggestion! Use it! Many communities also have career counseling services. See if you can get a critique of your resume.
Also, have you followed up with any calls/emails? If you can get in touch with someone, you could consider asking for information regarding why you were not called back. Sometimes you can get some good information
kittycat3 is offline  
Old 07-19-2016, 09:56 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
fred59's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
good luck slickrick sending good vibes take care
fred59 is offline  
Old 07-20-2016, 02:39 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
SlickRick07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 160
I have had multiple professional sources look over my resume and tell me it is good for a college graduate with limited experience. Entitled? Sure, I spent a year over in the middle east, my squadron abandoned me after I got back when I needed help the most but instead decided I wasn't their problem, I spent the next 4 years working minimum wage jobs full time while going to school and graduated with honors. So yeah, forgive me for feeling like I've paid my dues and am owed something. Entitled? I've earned it.
SlickRick07 is offline  
Old 07-20-2016, 02:50 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I felt a bit miffed when no one cared about paying me what I thought I was worth. Certainly, all the money I'd paid for that brilliant liberal arts education, all the time, hard work, and energy, blood, sweat, and tears meant I was worth more than what I was being given by employers.

It turns out that most places I worked didn't need or value my education, my critical thinking skills, and my brilliant logic. They wanted me to do what they told me to do. In fact, once I was told: "Sit down and do your job!" by another college graduate (my own age) who happened to be my employer. Yes, he was a jerk. But it was his business.

I drank and drank and railed away at the unfairness of idiots getting off on telling me what to do, especially since I had such brilliant ideas that weren't being appreciated.

Again, maybe it was the type of educational background? Not sure.

But, after a while, I realized I was walking into these places applying for these jobs to work for these people. Why was I doing it? And was it my only option? To work for these people, running their businesses for them, and getting paid less that what I was supposedly worth? No, it wasn't.

You aren't entitled to be handed anything by other people. People will walk all over you, grind you into the dirt, and smile at you while they're doing it. They'll even tell you to shut up, sit down, and be grateful.

I had to determine my own worth. And I had to determine where my skills and talents would best fit.

I make much more money working for myself and writing for a handful of clients than I did working with and for hundreds of others, doing as I was told (often by idiots).

You earned the ability to think for yourself, and to act intelligently, and responsibly.
Soberpotamus is offline  
Old 07-20-2016, 03:21 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 5
Be careful what you wish for!
I went back to school for five years in my early thirties and five years later landed what should be a dream job. Well, eight months in, I may have a decent wage and I appear to have my life together on the outside, but I'm close to a breakdown with all the stress and pressure the job brings. I've had to abandon all my hobbies, the hours mean I don't get many weekends off and I rarely have any sort of social life.
Some days I long for a menial, low paid job in a factory again, where I can forget about work when I leave at the end of the day. Money and prestige aren't worth a damn if you don't have your mental health!
Rumbler is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:19 AM.