I thank you all for responding. I wanted to put this out there so that I can remain honest and transparent. I appreciate all words both harsh and the gentle reminders to not beat myself up. I am taking it all in. At this point I am thanking God that we made it safe and that my kid is too young to understand how foolishly I behaved. In an effort to not give off cliches or the standard "I'm done" speech I will not make any promises. The commitment is between God and I. Yes we all have said it and some of us have failed, but I have nothing else to believe in. I genuinely believe that this is the last time and God willing I will do everything I can to do it.