don't know how to cope
This is my first time posting on here, so I don't even know where to begin. I'm really happy I found this site and seeing all the support everyone gives one another. But it makes my heart sad seeing how drugs and alcoholism, mental disorders all effect everybody.
I'm a 21 year old girl. Thankfully I am sober. I've seen the what drugs have done to my family and friends. So I am way too scared to touch anything. But my little sister on the other hand is quite the opposite. She is three years younger than me and we've always been best friends and inseparable. She is my heart. I don't know what I'd do without her. A couple years ago, at the age of 16 one of her "friends" talked her into doing heroin with her. And she did. She did not tell anyone that soon after that she became addicted to it. That along with opiates when she couldn't get her hands on dope. It is two years later.. She had me convinced that she didn't use anymore. She is almost 5 months pregnant with my neice or nephew and I could not be any happier to become a aunt. Recently I found out she relapsed and uses heroin again. I have been a heart broken mess. My little sister who did everything with me is not the same. I hate knowing that she hates the life she is living now. She wants to be the best mommy she can be. (She has been looking into recovery programs and alternatives to get her off heroin)
I know in my heart she will be an amazing mom if she can beat this disease.
I guess what I'm trying to get at, is I know she is the one that needs help. But I need some kinda emotional support as well. I am so torn apart. Non stop crying. And begging to her that I will help her as much as I can to help guide her into the right direction as long as she wants it. And I know she does. She wants help, but I guess in the mean time I don't know how to deal with this. I just want my sister back. I feel like I'm too young to be dealing with this. I should be having the time of my life in college and with my boyfriend but I can't. I know I gotta put myself first. But this is more important to me. Has anyone else had any similar situations?
I'm sorry that this was a lot to read.. And I do appreciate anyone who read it all and replies. Thank you so much.