You have proven that you can not drink and keep your body parts intact, I assume your butt has not fallen off, even if it did , drinking again won't help.
It's a mind game from here on out. Taking drinking off the table as an option , a forever and no matter what thing, is the best mindset for achieving that goal. From both a practical and a motivational standpoint. Your AV is setting you up and using the 'ammo' of a future option to consume alcohol( "not doing x,y,z means I will eventually drink" or " in order to feel x,y,z I will have to drink") and it is trying to wear down your resolve to stay quit. Start by totally removing the ammo from its arsenal, as a mindset.
No Matter What even covers "if I feel I want to" , it covers all those types of thoughts and suggests the action to take. We never have to act on thoughts, we may not be able to control having the thoughts but we always have the option of deciding to act on them.
Coming here and posting about your thoughts means that you know acting on thoughts of future consumption will on the whole have dire consequences going forward, getting drunk even one time will have negative consequences but the AV says " we will deal with that, it will be ok" , it won't be ok , you know it.
Taking drinking off the table, will disarm that kind of thinking. It may be that you them have to figure out how to deal with the 'feelings' of wanting to , but you will be safe from the negative consequences of alcohol consumption.
Leaving the door open even a crack invites these 'battles'. Make a firm commitment and then explore all avenues of support in your decision , support can/does make a huge difference in keeping your resolve, but those things can't 'give' it to you.
You got this, slam that door shut, rootin for ya and hope to keep seeing you around