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I'm close to drinking

Old 07-17-2016, 03:32 AM
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I'm close to drinking

There. I said it. I have stopped going to meetings and now every event I go to I start thinking "I'll just get drunk this one time." I was on a pink cloud after my outpatient rehab. I was going to meetings. Now I'm back and work and just don't make the time. I don't wanna do this again. I was so happy a couple months ago...
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Old 07-17-2016, 03:37 AM
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I'm glad you posted Press. Get to a meeting. You know that the thinking "this one time" isn't true. Hang on to that last sentence about being happy. That's the real you. Don't give in to the demon. The longer you stay away the better you'll feel. Why did you stop going to meetings?
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Old 07-17-2016, 03:46 AM
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You have the time to work your program. You already know how much mental energy and anguish it takes to be drunk. No bueno!

Remember how much you like being clearheaded, even if it's just to come visit SR! Lol! Yes, you did it! One more day, and then another. And, none of them are Day 1...again. Make a list of all the successes you've accomplished while sober to help motivate you to get back on the right path. Take good care of yourself!
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Old 07-17-2016, 04:38 AM
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Great job on posting first press. . .
now get to the meeting, and take action to not take action on drinking.

Do you, or your family, want to see you back on the crazy train
of getting loaded, ill, and having regrets?

You can do this. . . it is good to talk it out here.
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Old 07-17-2016, 04:54 AM
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Well done for posting Press.

What action are you willing to take to turn this around and avoid a relapse? The ball is very much in your court. This can be a scary thing. But it can also be viewed as empowering. You have been given the tools to dig yourself out of that hole. You gonna use them? At the moment it's likely you're just hanging around at rock bottom waiting for an inevitable landslide.

I hope you choose to get yourself to a meeting, and reach out and let people help you. Your HP can only help you if you are willing.
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Old 07-17-2016, 04:56 AM
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Be sure to hit a meeting this morning, maybe a couple. Support is one of the strongest allies there is in staying sober.
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Old 07-17-2016, 05:31 AM
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Drinking isn't going to solve your problems it is the problem and 2 wrongs don't make a right

Press there are days in early recovery that were so brutal where I just wanted to throw in the towl and say stuff it but I didn't and I'm not the only one so don't feel alone in that there will be hard days there will be tests but sticking it out is your next best move nothing lasts forever & feelings urges & cravings will pass and diminish over time

Doing things like this post is strengthening your sobriety by reaching out you now know you will never be doing this alone

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Old 07-17-2016, 05:52 AM
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You have proven that you can not drink and keep your body parts intact, I assume your butt has not fallen off, even if it did , drinking again won't help.
It's a mind game from here on out. Taking drinking off the table as an option , a forever and no matter what thing, is the best mindset for achieving that goal. From both a practical and a motivational standpoint. Your AV is setting you up and using the 'ammo' of a future option to consume alcohol( "not doing x,y,z means I will eventually drink" or " in order to feel x,y,z I will have to drink") and it is trying to wear down your resolve to stay quit. Start by totally removing the ammo from its arsenal, as a mindset.
No Matter What even covers "if I feel I want to" , it covers all those types of thoughts and suggests the action to take. We never have to act on thoughts, we may not be able to control having the thoughts but we always have the option of deciding to act on them.
Coming here and posting about your thoughts means that you know acting on thoughts of future consumption will on the whole have dire consequences going forward, getting drunk even one time will have negative consequences but the AV says " we will deal with that, it will be ok" , it won't be ok , you know it.
Taking drinking off the table, will disarm that kind of thinking. It may be that you them have to figure out how to deal with the 'feelings' of wanting to , but you will be safe from the negative consequences of alcohol consumption.
Leaving the door open even a crack invites these 'battles'. Make a firm commitment and then explore all avenues of support in your decision , support can/does make a huge difference in keeping your resolve, but those things can't 'give' it to you.
You got this, slam that door shut, rootin for ya and hope to keep seeing you around
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Old 07-17-2016, 06:00 AM
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Hi Press,

I am so glad you posted!! I hope you are at a meeting right now, or doing something that is part of your recovery plan to get through this moment, and that is all it is, a moment.

Think about how good sobriety feels, how nice it is to wake up each day with a clear head, how much better you feel physically and mentally. Play the tape through, it wouldn't be one drink, or one time, it would open the door to one more...

You can do this. Check back in and let us know how you are doing.

❤️ Delilah
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Old 07-17-2016, 06:33 AM
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As they say, "play the tape through to the end." In your mind, see where taking that first drink ends for you. Is that where you want to be? Even if you're feeling bad right now, won't you feel worse to be hungover, irritable, ashamed and hating yourself for caving, etc...

Let us know how you're doing
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Old 07-17-2016, 07:05 AM
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We all have 24 hours in a day, so our life choices are a matter of priority. Make sobriety your priority.
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Old 07-17-2016, 07:33 AM
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"and just don't make the time"

I think the big book talks about resting on our laurels.
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.
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Old 07-17-2016, 07:56 AM
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"and just don't make the time"

So glad you posted, I believe it is very important. Maybe seriously consider changing the statement above from NOT making the time TO making the time. Its a high priority. I also agree with Soberwolf, we have crappy days, we think about drinking...just don't act on those feelings.
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Old 07-17-2016, 08:03 AM
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Have to agree with tomsteve here...that book is a golden oldie. In desperation and defeat i just started seriously applying exactly what it said to the best of my know how, come what may, and the insufferable urge to drink that had become my constant companion, just subsided exactly as it said it would.

But, if you aren't convinced, go try some more controlled drinking! Trying to shield ourselves, change of scene, the incessant mind battle proposed by the hard drinkers and potential alcoholics...just a merry go round for a more-far-gone alcoholic. Doomed. Ordinary willpower and common sense, the best resolutions, eventually give way before the OBSESSION to take a drink, immediately experiencing that relief....then the merciless LOSS OF CONTROL over the amount taken, then the poison soaked eventual destruction of whatever life we had been trying to build.

In time, the urge to do battle just isn't there.

We are without defense against that first drink. Our defense must come from a different tap, where proud modern man don't like to go. The tap just needs one key, and it is called 'willingness'. I believeit takes a surrender of the whole will, not just a partial experimental 'well as long as things go my way' lukewarm will. 'Seized with all the desperation of the dying, the flimsy reed turned out to be surprisingly substantial'.

Successive humiliations do a most wonderful job beating this into us Self reliance is great as far as it goes, just it doesn't go far enough...
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Old 07-17-2016, 08:05 AM
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I stay sober because I do what I need to do on a daily basis. Prayer, AA, SR, spirituality, talking to a fellow alcoholic, come first. I do make sure to fill in the rest of the time with fun and work. I don't do nothing well so I make sure my days are full
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