Well done for posting Press.
What action are you willing to take to turn this around and avoid a relapse? The ball is very much in your court. This can be a scary thing. But it can also be viewed as empowering. You have been given the tools to dig yourself out of that hole. You gonna use them? At the moment it's likely you're just hanging around at rock bottom waiting for an inevitable landslide.
I hope you choose to get yourself to a meeting, and reach out and let people help you. Your HP can only help you if you are willing.