I will say this about affairs, whether emotional or physical. They are fake bubbles that in no way represent anything authentic. The people involved in them see their cohort through rose colored glasses. Nothing they do is wrong, everything is right, they are perfect! This sometimes lends itself to even believe some type of "higher power" brought the two together mystically because on planet earth, no other has ever understood them, loved them, or filled them with such joy.
Fake, fake, fake.
This is why few affairs that go the distance of divorcing a spouse EVER work. Once the bubble is popped (which hinges on the taboo secrecy being in place) - the people become human. They are jerks, slobs, and their sh!t stinks just like the rest of us mere mortals.
I hope you will be able to find your path soon and move on to greener pastures aka "freedom".