My heart ached a little when I read your post...
It's an awful thing when we somehow are unequipped to love and champion ourselves and instead, look for it in another. When deep down we don't value ourselves, how can we soothe and make our own selves feel better?
A friend of mine said something to me recently. She said "there is a big difference between self worth and self confidence". You might have the latter in spades..but you really don't feel you have any worth.
Wow...it almost knocked me off my chair. Yes, I can project confidence but my worth?? Ya...that's a bigger, harder deal.
I came on this forum today because I recently got myself mixed up with another broken, alcoholic, needy, clingy, insecure individual who was bending over backwards to please me...until I wasn't there for him when he cut his finger. I didn't answer the phone...
So he went and slept with his ex-gf.
I have my own alcohol issues...which is how we hooked up in the first place.
The thing is Butterfly..who ever you are latching onto for your own self worth is likely some sort of mirror reflection...another broken soul..who will only validate your LACK of self worth.
More times than not...we end up with what's familiar..not with what's good for us.
Yesterday I decided to sober up and fly right and try to get my own self back together. I am tired of hurting myself in relationships over and over and over again..... it's a pattern. Drinking or sober I've done it.
It hurts. And I have no idea how to heal other than doing everything I can for ...myself. I am trying...once again...to be my own best friend. I went to the gym. I ate good healthy food yesterday. I watched a "chick flick" last night. I called some girlfriends. I bought Coke Zero instead of wine....
Admire and spread your own wings today Butterfly. I'm in your corner.