.. Thank you everyone.. Def mixed messages, but I feel that it's bc he's trying to figure out if he can get himself together & be sober, if so we'll move forward.. If not this awful demon will take him .
He's conflicted & twisted about this bc he's never loved anyone as he has me, & especially not kids... He knows I'm taking steps forward and doing things I need.. We agreed to take things slow & see how they go-- the challenge for ME in this, is being patient & living life, as my anxiety levels are off charts, at dr again today bc of it.
I'm praying for him & for us, I'm being z great mom & working my tail off at work as well as moving to a new town closer to work.
He has to decide to do this for him tho, not for me.. I've read that many times..& know it's true . I can't be mad at him, he's battling every day... Looking back over the last few years I can see that too... Just didn't recognize that's what was going on. I know I can make it without him, I just don't want that to have to happen . From advice I've gotten from others " step back, live your life, be there if he needs you,& hopefully rebuild once he has a handle on things ", I can't even imagine dating again.. It seems crazy .. I will always be in love with this man ..