Thank you all, the picture is becoming clearer that if he truly loved me he never would have walked away. I put a great deal into the relationship, it was my first serious relationship. I spent my twenties working on myself after being diagnosed with panic disorder after my Father's death from lung cancer, I dated but never found someone worth my time. My Mother passes five months before he & I started seeing each other & I had known him for a year at that point. I knew about his years of drinking & the internal damage it caused & the damage to his family. I truly thought he was in a good place, early on in the relationship he was always open and honest about his drinking and really worked his program. Im studying to be a therapist so I made a point of learning about the disease of alcoholism so that I could have a better understanding. I believe now that after our year anniversary is when things started to change, I was serious about marriage, no kids though so that we agreed on but when things changed at his job he didn't deal with stress well, he wasn't eating right, although that was never good & he worked 65hrs a week, ironically that changed right after he left me. I know other's in recovery who work their programs, even one who is getting married and his fiance is also in recovery, but they work their programs and their relationship. I do see now that yes, he strung me along, he had times he could have said this isn't working for me, before this woman came into the picture but didn't and shame on him for not being honest, but as a friend in recovery has told me impulse behavior is not good, but he is her problem now, I am working on my own healing I have no contact with him, unfriended him & everyone I knew through him on Facebook & don't drive by where he works or lives which is close to me. Im just trying to heal my broken heart, thank you again for your honest responses