When my mother died, my son's girlfriend called me to make sure I took him to the funeral because she was about to throw him out and wanted a couple of days to change her locks...I couldn't make something that cold up.
It took something that obviously bizarre for me to see how crazy my life had become. It took that for me to finally stand up to her and him and put my mother's needs first.
I think your ABF has shown you clearly how selfish he is.
It's time to make a plan to take care of yourself, and your parents if they need it.
There comes a time when the insanity we call our life needs to go. It is when we finally get the clarity to see how bad things really are that we need to change, ourselves and our lives, and begin our journey out of the madness and into the serenity and peace of recovery.
Hugs