rae, I'm going to trot out the story of the moldy sandwich here.
Some time ago, another SR member was in the same situation you are, feeling the same feelings you are feeling. The thread she started was similar to yours. Someone posted this wise thought:
I try to think of it this way- If I threw a moldy sandwich in a Dumpster, would I really be jealous of the person who was so starved for crumbs that they would dive in the Dumpster to pick it up?
And to me, that says it all. Things are not miraculously different. He is not a totally different guy. He's just putting on the same act that you saw back in the beginning, and she's falling for it just like you did. There's no reason to believe the story will be substantially different as it unfolds this time...
I'm sure your heart hurts--31 years is a long time. I hope you can let this go soon and return to your own happy life.