Blossom,
I too think I was taught some of my codependent ways from my mother. It's funny though, she's never drank in her life but I see some of her behaviors mimic alcoholic behavior more than codependent. I'm slowly but certainly seeing that they are very, very close. My mother is an ACOA. I have always struggled more with my relationship to her than with my dad.
A couple of weeks ago, we had a speaker at our Al-Anon meeting that had a message that really spoke to me. He was talking about his relationship with his parents. He had a very tough childhood. He found out later in adulthood that one was raised by an alcoholic and another left an orphan at a very young age. They had no idea what a normal functioning family was like. He said that helped him reach a place of forgiveness with them because you can't give something you don't have.
We do our best with what we have and what we know. I think it is important to set boundaries with your mom and of course practice detachment. It has helped me to not take it as personal. You can't give what you don't have. I also realize that I need to work on my recovery program even harder so that hopefully I can be a healthier role model for my daughter.
Jaeger