Originally Posted by
Soberpotamus 
Yes, I think so. I felt I was at a psychological point of no return. I was completely ready for a change no matter what that entailed. Kind of like diving off the side and hoping you don't hit something down below ... trusting you're leaving behind worse things.
There was a visceral faith or belief that I could put it down and never pick it back up again. I was ready to believe it was possible. I knew it was possible, but I needed to match my desire with that knowledge. My desire was finally there.
Ive made so many changes to my plan. It's crazy the amount of detail I've put into it.SR is a big part of my plan. I was always so angry on my other attempts. Pissed off that I was being cheated out of my favorite past time. This time I really feel happy. I want to embrace it but I'm scared like its a trick and temptation is going to come at me from a new direction that I'm not prepared for. I want to live sober. God please let this be the time it sticks. Not a trick. Not that great putting my thoughts into words so I hope it makes sense