Such great thoughts and comments in this thread about how WE feel as the outsiders to this disease. Just look at how, over time, it has eroded away over the years of what wonderful qualities we used to see, to the point where we have noticed the changes so much that it has caused what we once thought was the unthinkable -- We don't like them so much anymore!
It sounds like a lot of you in this thread are lifers -- You didn't get married or partner up for a few years of fun. You did it and expected to be next to this person in your golden years. So the initial thoughts of saying goodbye to a person you thought would be in your life decades more was so hard to imagine.
But look at what time and realization has done -- We are actually falling out of love with them.
Also, this:
I think the biggest change for me is that I now see it isn't me, it is AH and his disease. I always felt that everything was my fault before. This isn't. It is his disease playing out. He used to tell me I was over reacting, imagining it etc. No, I am not. I am seeing clearly and accurately.
Thank goodness for that. I also know that I do not want to be dragged down by his disease.
Such great introspection to see past the blame and realize that we're not accountable. Well done!