Originally Posted by
effortjoy 
Can I go to AA and disagree with some of the steps? I still don't understand asking for forgiveness for our actions when we were sick. Should a chemo patient apologize for throwing up all over the place? Should an obese person apologize for embarrassing a family member when they overate?
I think this is important. You are setting up a false equivalency that could let you off the hook for bad behavior while drinking. And I think it is not possible to recover while still letting yourself off the hook.
You are equating physical symptoms with behavior. You have no control over symptoms. So there is no need for an alcoholic to apologize for throwing up, staggering, or having a headache the next day. Just like with an chemo patient, these are symptoms not under control.
But getting into a fight, creating a hazard by driving under the influence, shirking off responsibilities, cheating, stealing, cruelty, etc. are behaviors that you can control. It does not matter that you would never have done such behaviors sober--the fact that you did them drunk does not get you off the hook. You did them.
I have known someone who went through chemo and was impossible to deal with. Lots of self-pity and lashing out. And he did apologize for his behavior after.
Having a disease does not mean you get to treat the rest of the world like dirt. And you do need to apologize if you did.
Part of what makes it easier to stay sober is the recognition of the damage you do while drinking. If you can brush it off, with the ready excuse, "Hey I cannot help it! I am an alcoholic!" that would tend to make drinking MORE attractive, not less.